"Recovering has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do..."

FKA Twigs has spoken about her experiences of abuse at the hands of actor Shia LaBeouf.

The UK artist launched a legal case against the actor at the end of last year, and the papers served made explicit the abuse she had suffered during their relationship.

Allegations of emotional and physical trauma were made, with FKA Twigs accusing Shia LaBeouf of giving her an STI during their relationship.

Speaking to Elle, FKA Twigs has discussed these events for the first time, revealing that he kept a loaded gun in their room, forced her to watch gruesome imagery of women being murdered on true crime documentaries, and frequently threatened her.

She told the title: “What I went through with my abuser is, hands down, the worst thing (I’ve experienced) in the whole of my life. Recovering has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do.”

FKA comments: “People wouldn’t think that it would happen to a woman like me. The biggest misconception is, ‘Well, you’re smart. If it was that bad, why didn’t you leave?’  It can happen to anyone.”

During the initial phase of the relationship, she would push back against Shia's behaviour, who would respond with 'love-bombing', or as FKA Twigs puts it: "really aggressive love..."

The two moved together, which is “when the abuse really escalated,” she says. “I realised then I wasn’t just dealing with a tortured person who was going through a divorce. Or that outside factors in his life (were) making him act out on me. I was involved with an inherently abusive person.”

FKA Twigs was gradually denied contact with her friends and family by her ex-partner. “If you’re not talking to your friends or your family about what you’re going through, then there’s no one to regulate your emotions or affirm how you’re feeling. There’s no one to tell you that you’re in a dangerous situation. He made me feel like I wasn’t allowed joy, basically. That’s what it boils down to: I wasn’t allowed joy unless it directly revolved around him.”

After the revelation that he had given her an STI, FKA Twigs began the process of ending the relationship. Attempting to confront the actor about his behaviour way from the public gaze proved fruitless, leading to the serving of legal papers in 2020.

“It’s hard to do this publicly… but I want people to know my story. If I can’t help people through my experience, it makes my experience 10 times worse. There has to be a point to this - a reason why this happened to me. It’s not just about my (personal) recovery.”

“It’s very fresh, for me, obviously. I know (this journey) is not going to be perfect. But I hope if I can make little steps, and people can see me taking my life back, it will inspire them. I’ve given (LaBeouf) back his dysfunction now. I went on my whole Magdalene tour holding that dysfunction - it was with me onstage, every time I did an interview, on every red carpet. I was not enjoying any of it. Because I was still holding it. But now I’ve given it back. Now he gets to hold it. And everyone knows what he’s done.”

Discussing the wider entertainment and media world, she asks: “At what point does Hollywood stop looking at money and start looking at people’s safety?"

Find the full interview HERE.

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