It's a tween-age rampage...

Following a long and tiring week of lessons, numerous after-school clubs, scouts, dance, music lessons and homework, Pesky! got together after school to offer up their thoughts about a selection of singles for Clash magazine.

Fuelled by XXL bags of marshmallows and excitement about the release of their debut EP Smells Like Tween Spirit, the kids sat down in the classroom to peruse the offerings. Although only 10, 11 and 12, these kids know what they like…and also what they don’t. Honest? Yes. Diplomatic? Definitely not.

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Foxes - 'Body Talk'

Megan, lead singer, jumped in on this one: I love it; I’ve listened to it before on Friday Download. The dancing is cool and the beat is awesome. It’s got a really catchy tune.
Jess, keyboards: I love it; the singer is awesome. She’s really pretty and the chorus is amazing.
Niamh, lead singer: I like her shorts and the chorus.
Kate, guitarist and singer: I like it; she’s got big eyes and a good voice.
Joseph, guitarist: It’s not really my thing but it’s okay.
Harry, drummer: I don’t like it. Why? Because it’s not very good.

Fair enough.

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Rocky Nti - 'Ride On'

Kate was straight into this: I really like it. The guitar he uses is the same as mine - brilliant! BUT he has it far too high up. I don’t like that. Guitars should be low down, not high up. Everyone knows that. I think the chorus is really catchy though.
Megan: I don’t like his outfit- it looks uncomfortable and why would anyone have a beard?
Jess, keyboards: It’s catchy but I don’t like how you can’t hear the words ‘ride on’ properly.
Niamh: I like this one but I don’t like the kissing in the video.
Harry: I like it; it’s got real drums in it.
Joseph, guitarist: I like this one, it’s a good tune.

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Jax Jones – Yeah, Yeah, Yeah'

Niamh got the ball rolling: The video is amazing. I love it. We all want one of those cool pushchairs - they’re awesome. I love the cute kids. We all love the video.
Megan: I’d definitely dance to it at a party. It’s got a good beat.
Harry and Joseph: Although it’s not our thing usually, we quite like it and the video definitely fits the song.
Kate and Jess: We like it but the voice is far too echoey. It sounds weird and we can’t work out if the singer is a boy or girl. Great video, though.

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Sigma feat. Ella Henderson - 'Glitterball'

Megan and Jess: We really like Ella Henderson but this is not her best tune. We like it when it gets going, though. The summer theme is good and we love her ‘golden goddess’ look.
Kate and Niamh: It’s okay if a little bit repetitive but the video is far too rude with all the bikinis in it. There’s no need for all that. And why is it called Glitterball? It should be in a disco.
Harry and Joseph: Don’t like the music but love the motorbike in the video; that’s cool.

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Aaron Wright – 'Rob A Bank'

Megan: I really like it. It’s a good tune and I quite like acoustic songs at the moment. You can hear the singing really clearly on acoustic tunes.
Harry and Joseph: It’s really boring. That type of song is terrible. It’s definitely not our thing.
Kate: It’s too classical for me. I don’t like classical music. I like loud music.

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Will Young - 'Thank You'

There was a caveat with this tune. I’d been forewarned by one of the parents about swearing in the track, which was quite literally, the last line of the song, so I was poised to stop it before the offending line. As it turned out, I’d needn’t have worried, as we never got anywhere close to reaching the last line…

‘What’s going on with him now? What is this all about?’ was the general consensus.

Kate: I used to like Will Young when I was younger but this is just weird. The video is scary; it looks like they’re going to perform an operation on the man on the bed.
Harry: I quite like the drums and the chorus is nice and simple but the video is very strange.
Jess: Boring.
Niamh: I agree.

To be fair to Will Young, this was the last track to be reviewed and concentration was wavering. The children seemed much more interested in observing Megan perform the ‘Chubby Bunny’ challenge, which involved shoving as many marshmallows into her mouth as possible, whilst still trying to say ‘chubby bunny’.

At this point I realised it was game over. Thankfully, is was well before the gratuitous four-letter expletive which rounded-off the track. There you have it; astute, reasoned and insightful music journalism it may not be, but, honest opinions from kids who are into music, it is. Make of it what you will.

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'Smells Like Tween Spirit - the debut EP from Pesky! - is out now on Fierce Panda.

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