Fancy An Ann Summers Intense Tent?

Make your festival more fetish-full with Clash

Still kinky after all these years, Ann Summers has been putting a little pizzazz into the high street for several decades.

Now the UK’s foremost purveyor of blue-chip sauciness is sexing up what has traditionally been one of the least glamorous aspects of the British summer: festival accommodation.

The store have been doing a little research, and (apologies for the lurch into maths here) discovered that seventy percent of their customers head for festivals every summer, and two-thirds of them are on the lookout for some sweet lovin’ when they get there.

Hence they’ve swung into action and come up with the limited edition Ann Summers tent, and a fine beast it is too. First up, it’s pink neon, so will stick out like a sore thumb – the last thing you want when you’ve a pulled a live one at the dance arena is for the passion to fizzle out during a three-hour search for your bloody tent.

Secondly, it’s jam-packed with Ann Summers goodies, so think lotions, lubes and, indeed, some clean underwear, in his ‘n’ hers sizes. Really, they’ve thought of pretty much everything to give your festival experience that added lift – bar the actual chatting up itself. If you’re struggling with that, well, you might be interested to learn that Ms Summers is also launching the Rampant Rabbit Heart Throb in July, the latest member of the infamous Rabbit family.

“Where others have rippled, murmured and waved,” begins the press blurb, promisingly, “the Heart Throb features an exclusive, worldwide-patented three-speed girth throbbing effect, evocative of a love-struck beating heart.”

One of those will also be included in the winning package, while runners up will receive some pink inflatable bouncing bunnies, which will give even the most mundane tent a bit of extra oomph. A summer with Summers, then: stimulation for the nation.

For the chance to win a sultry Ann Summers festival tent packed with goodies – or some Bouncing Bunnies – just enter our exclusive competition here. Go on, you know you want it.

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