When was the last time you bought a song after reading about it in one of these columns? Come to think of it, when did you last buy a single? Exactly, right…
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Sia – ‘Chandelier’
Fresh from guesting on Angel Haze’s ‘Battle Cry’ and collaborating with Eminem and Beyoncé, here’s Sia Furler’s (pictured) comeback proper after her last album, ‘We Are Born’, came out in 2010. That set was the Australian’s best-selling long-player in the UK to date, and if ‘Chandelier’ is indicative of what’s to come on her forthcoming sixth studio collection, then it could well represent her first British top 40 success. Credits on releases by Kylie Minogue and Celine Dion might contrast sharply with her work with aforementioned acts of rather more bite, but they showcase a very flexible talent, who here channels the glitzy but vulnerable R&B qualities she brought to Rihanna’s ‘Diamonds’. This sounds like A-list stuff through and through – listen out for it taking over the airwaves until we’re all thoroughly sick of it.
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The Traps – ‘Imposter’
Birmingham’s The Traps coulda been contenders – if the year was 1998 and The Chart Show was still a thing. ‘Imposter’ is one side of a double-A through Label Fandango, and the heritage is there to hear. This is big-feeling post-Britpop fare that has one slightly recalling Rialto, even if The Traps push that band’s brand of bruised indie-pop into an area Elbow might want to fish when looking to hook their next support act. Complementary, for sure, but never going to outshine the headliners.
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Weatherbird – ‘Where Eye Want To Be’
If The Traps would have walked into a Lamacq session in the late-’90s – and probably still could today – Weatherbird would have been lucky to get their demo through the door, even back when Stiltskin was allowed to happen. And assuming it got upstairs, this by-numbers banality would have been tossed long before its end – which doesn’t seem to arrive until forever. Whatever compels people to make this sort of dross, even now, we need to kill it at the source.
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Duke Dumont – ‘I Got U’
On which some complete bastard rubs it into our faces that he got to go to Thailand to make a music video – in an era where a promo budget of over £3.29 and a McDonald’s voucher for catering is worth celebrating – while we’re sat in miserable London looking forward to when someone stands up to offer a round of tea. That said, our protagonist is actually in a comparable position, staying out of the pissing drizzle, taking delivery of the weirdest Oculus Rift build we’ve seen yet. But he’s still having more fun than us, inside his misery pit, and we went out into the sunshine earlier. Bastard.
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TOY – ‘It’s Been So Long’
I’m pretty sure someone already released this. In 1989, possibly. (Cue: yeah, so long since you had an original idea.) But it’s alright, this, isn’t it. Hard to be too tough on something that tries just enough to offer an approximation of music that you fondly recall from years gone by but the precise details of which have been lost from booze-battered memory banks. TOY, then: perfectly acceptable music for ages 30-something and up, those who only buy albums when they’re a bit like ones they already own.
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Little Mix – ‘Word Up’
This video has had over four-and-a-half million views since its uploading at the beginning of March. If it wasn’t for charity, you’d seek out the IP addresses of everyone who’s checked it out more than once and do what you needed to. Nobody would blame you. This is an abomination, obviously. So once it’s done its time, burn it like the witch it is. I said it, not them. You leave Little Mix alone, you brutes. They know not what they do, with their big, shiny faces and hair.
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